Sunday, April 29, 2012

the icing or the cake?

WOW, do i relate to this post, The Icing or the Cake {from Jess Constable of the new-to-me blog Make Under Your Life.} and i'm guessing some many of you do as well. it is something at has been on my mind/heart for a long time now & i'm so glad she addressed it. 

Jess talks about the two lens in which she views the world -- the real world lens and the online world lens (which consists primarily of lifestyle blogs, Pinterest, Twitter and Facebook). though she feels she is doing great through her real world lens, her online world lens often makes her feel like she is not quite 'enough.' it causes her to start thinking in these terms ::

"Sure, what I have nice, but it could be so much better if I had bright colored jeans, a floral blazer, a puppy, a hunky husband, a baby on the way, and a knack for cooking and entertaining like Ms. Stewart. Then my life would really be something."

i would add to that list a perfectly decorated home. that has definitely been a struggle for me (in addition to a perfectly curated closet). Jess continues,

"I get swept up in the beautiful images and their promises of perfection and forget all I have learned from my Real World experience. This needs to stop."

She is right :: this needs to stop. these promises are false and oh-so dangerous. they have definitely been affecting me lately as i have seen my desire for things get the better of me. i am embarrassed that i seem to repeatedly believe the lie "if i just had this..." only to find that once i do have that thing, i have already found another thing i "need." it only seems to get worse accumulate more. 

sometimes the comparing myself to other bloggers and the malcontent that comes from that comparing has made me wonder if reading blogs does more harm for me than good. i guess i'm still trying to figure all that out.  i came across a quote a few months of back (source unknown) that i have written on a chalkboard in our bedroom. 

Comparison is the thief of joy

you know?! it is ridiculous how many blessings i have in my life and it makes me feel terrible that i would ever feel malcontent. i have been carrying around a lot of guilt lately, that's for sure. i'm not even sure where to go with this from here, but i just thought i'd share a little bit of what i'm struggling with right now and maybe make those of you who have similar struggles realize that you are definitely not alone. it think this is something i will be thinking on a lot more and be seeking God about. after all, He is the only one who can give me what i need... who can set me free from these chains.. because that is just what they are. 

if you have actually made it this far, thank you for listening to me share my heart. you guys are the best. 


Gingiber said...

Just wanted to say that i like you and this post :) i relate. I would write more, but i've got some babies to tend to!

Dancing Branflake said...

I could have never said it better. I went on a shopping freeze to rid myself of that mentality and it was the best thing ever. I swear- when having more is no longer an option, you find more beauty in what you already have. I need to go on a shopping freeze again. I've been 'unfrozen' for the last two months and I've bought so much stuff it's embarrassing.

Beth @ the city said...

True story. Thanks for sharing her blog and your thoughts on comparison. It's so true!

Linnea Wheeler said...

Yes! I completely relate to this too, Megan! And not only can I become discontent, but I do others the disfavor of assuming perfection about their life. Too often I have found out otherwise later, and am left to shame. That's part of why I struggle blogging on a regular basis. I don't want other people to assume my life is more perfect than it is, and become jealous, and everything that I know can happen to me when I read others'...I want to be content myself, and love others (even people I don't know that well), regardless of what they have and don't have.

However, I still love blogs! :) I pray that you will figure out what you need to do to come to a place where they can be a healthy and enjoyable thing for you!

Seeking Jesus with you,


Polly Rowan said...

Just found your blog and think it's beautiful! This post is so true. Though we do have to remember that people generally tend to blog their lives through "rose-tinted glasses" or whatever the saying is. They post the pretty and happy bits and leave out the ugly and sad. So it's easy to think that someone has a better life than you. xx

Sandy a la Mode said...

what a great post!! i always find myself saying that my wardrobe needs this and that and my life would be better. but that is pretty ridiculous... :/ clothes don't define who we are, we should be happy for what we already have!!

Cara said...

Praise God for this awesome insight. Thank you so much for sharing and challenging and encouraging. xoxo

Liz Tubman said...

thanks for sharing Megan! I know I definitely struggle with this too - I always need to step back and look at the wonderful blessings God has given me (and all of us!!) & remind myself of his love :)

{kara} said...

Love this post Meg. I find myself comparing my blog, my business, my personal life, my home to those on pinterest, blogs and facebook. I remember when I opened my business 8 years ago, none of this was around and now it seems it is all around us. I struggle with it too Meg. Thanks for sharing!

ginanorma said...

I could not agree with you more!!! It's so unbelievable how so many bloggers are wrapped up in this. I don't mean to judge, but I didn't expect it when I started my blog. I mean it's constant keeping up with this trend or this craft, etc...and it's so meaningless and it's so much work and exhausting I would think to stay on top of it all! It's the most inaccurate picture of life ever. I'm so glad she spoke up about it and I'm so grateful you did too!!! I echo all that was written, thank you!

Anonymous said...

Well said Meg. I felt this a long time ago and am not a blogger or even on facebook. I have tried to protect my time and also my fleeting time with my four kids before they take off for college. I found your blog from my sis Kara Rosenberry and I applaud your blog for your honesty and refreshing writing about your contentment and discontentment we all struggle with. Thanks for sharing. Hope you have a great week enjoying the simple things in life. God bless,
Kimberly S.